A certain bearded Turk should have written this match report. Two months later and I'm still waiting so muggins Fillingham has to try and remember what happened. Saying that, he might still be writing it - have you ever seen him trying to type? Think of Ed's run making………but 50 times slower.

Wednesday the second of August saw the Old Boys at home to Stoke Druid. Originally, the opposition were the Police but once again they proved to be an unreliable bunch of tossers, cancelling the 'away' match 3 hours before we were due to play stating they couldn't raise a team. They were probably all too busy keeping our dangerous streets crime free……..or more likely sat in the back of a van with a speed camera. Always going for the easy targets.

I can barely remember what happened yesterday let along a couple of months ago so to 'bulk' out this report I shall be trying to take the piss out of the muppet we call Zograpghou. Just let this be a warning to anyone else thinking of shirking their match reporting responsibilities. I'm pretty sure Niko had a fairly decent game and was voted man of the match however, if you think I'm gonna be praising him then think again.

Talking of the man of the match, if you win this award you win a free pint. This leads me on to my first story…………..

A few years ago, an under aged Zographou went up to the bar in Super Bowl to order a pint of Fosters. When asked if he had ID to prove he was 18 he replied; "no". The barman told him that he couldn't serve him unless he had some ID. To the barman's surprise Niko then asked for "a pint of Jon Smiths."

Last year's encounter with Stoke Druid was a very close match and this one proved to be similar. Captain SJ Smith won the toss and decided that once again we would chase a target. This looked a good decision by the Old Boys skipper when after a tight couple of overs, his beloved brother Jon claimed the first scalp. At the other end, Anth's tight bowling forced the other opener to hook one in the air to fine leg and straight into JS Smith's sweaty clam. Jon would also take the next wicket meaning he'd had a hand in all three wickets to fall so far.

A lovely sunny afternoon suddenly turned into a cold and dark evening by 7 O'clock meaning the HOB fielders were soon rushing to the boundary to don their newly embroiled jumpers. Well, everyone but Niko, his mum had forgotten to pack his. That reminds me of a time when coming back from holiday we were all at the baggage carousel waiting for our luggage. One by one all the lads picked up their bags until just Niko was left. As the time went by everyone from the flight had collected his or her bags except Niko. There was one bag left, slowly, going round and round the conveyor. Lap after solitary lap, the suitcase circled, with Niko getting more and more agitated about his bag not coming out - adamant that the last bag wasn't his. After much protestation that the only bag left wasn't his, one of the boys hauled it off the conveyor and read the nametag.....N Zographou. This is what happens when your mum packs your bag.

After the short interlude a change of bowlers were needed. On came the skipper and the Ram, two completely different styles, Smith keeping the batsmen on the back foot with some short stuff, Lambshead duping the batsman by bowling 3 wides before clean bowling him.

Stu 'Golden Arm' Adams replaced Lambshead after a couple of overs and it wasn't long before he added another two victims to his long list of bowling causalities. The first, a thin outside edge that Fillingham held onto, the second, clean bowled.

Stoke Druids finished on 111 for 6 from 20 overs meaning roughly a run a ball was required for HOBs if they were to get back to winning ways following last Sunday's humiliating defeat in London.

Clements, Zographou and Trahar were the only ones not to have a bat in London so were to go in at positions 1, 2 and 3. Clements didn't last long, done by a ball that bounced twice before hitting his wicket and after much deliberation between the opposition and the umpires in whether that delivery was in fact a no ball, he trudged back to the pavilion for a quacker.

This brought Pete to the crease much earlier than he'd expected and after weathering an early storm this partnership started to knock off the runs required. In fact, both Zographou and Trahar hit their highest scores for HOBs. Such was Niko's performance, he might soon be able to discard a very embarrassing trophy he possess. If you don't already know the story, when Niko was 10 years old his mum bought him a football trophy engraved with "Niko Zographou is the best" because he didn't have any.

Niko's score of 21 included a huge 6. So huge was this 6, it took the opposition a good 5 minutes to try and retrieve the ball from the back of a hedge. In junior school we had to produce an illustrated book about British woodland creatures, the sort you my find in long grass, hedges and the like. At the end of the book we had to showcase our favourite. Niko chose a Dolphin.

A few quick wickets saw the rest of the team in and out without really troubling the scorers, with the exception of Jo, who continued in his rich vain of form by hitting a quick fire 24. Sadly, HOBs ran out of balls and Stoke Druids won the match by just one run.

After match beers were enjoyed by all at the Wellington. Niko ordered a steak and ale pie asked for it to be cooked 'rare'.

Niko, it's a pie mate…………

"Yes I know, can I have it rare?"

Niko, it's a pie…………..

I'm sure there are plenty more 'Niko' moments, far to many to mention in this report so I've opened up a topic on the message board called 'Zographou's Gaffs'. Click on the link and please feel free in add your own personal favourite……………