Well, if there was ever a match to write nothing about this surely would be the one. But as governed by the HOB rules, a report has to be written.

We always had a bad feeling about the match ever since about this time last year when that bearded freak got 89 not out - the whole team managing a total of 120. Yes, he was to play in this match.

The United Banks skipper told us that in their rules, bowlers were allowed to bowl 5 overs each thus giving them the opportunity of using just 4 bowlers, but he muttered, 'I will probably use at least 5 bowlers anyway.'

Anyway, United Banks won the tossing and elected to bat, The bearded freak now nicknamed the 'Beast of Blaise' was let out of his cage to open the innings.

Our new opening bowling partnership of Brown and Adams kept it tight, giving them few opportunities to play expansive shots. Wickets were not that forthcoming, but Adams, as ever, managed to get the breakthrough SJ Smith taking the catch at long on.

Barrett came on to up the pace and the 'Beast' started to carve him through point on several occasions. However, all these shots were being hit in the air so our cover point fielder was moved in and the 'Beast' fell right into the trap, Ashford taking a great catch diving to his left. Euphoria!

At this point I wondered if the clock had been turned back as it now seemed like we were playing junior cricket, given the age of their new batsmen and the fact they didn't know one end of a bat from the other.

Lambshead managed to capitalise and showed his ruthless streak by taking two wickets. The other wicket taker being our skip Mr JS Smith. Two run outs contributed to getting them 7 down for 84 runs in 20 overs.

This was a total well within our grasp, but you just new there would be a twist. Davies and SJ Smith opened the batting and plodded on setting a good foundation. There opening bowlers bowled 5 overs straight off, so at this point we knew that they would use just 4 bowlers, very unsportsmanlike.

Davies was first man out - mistiming a shot which the keeper managed to run and grab. The two Smiths were looking comfortable until JS Smith was out off a 'bump' ball. All the fielders knew this, especially the catcher 'The Beast.' United Banks could have recalled our batsmen but this would have gone against all their cricketing principles, which every other team abides to! This was not going to be our day through no fault of our own. Fillingham et al managed to make a decent fist but we ran up just short making a total of 78.

SJ Smith was named man of the match for top scoring with the bat and his safe pair of hands.

In the return leg we will play by our rules and every other teams rules i.e. bowlers being restricted to 4 over each. If they don't like it, we all know what they can do……