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Match Report

Gremlins v Henleaze Old Boys
Wednesday 6th July 2005 at The YMCA, Golden Hill

By TW Lambshead

On the day it was announced the 2012 Olympic games would be coming to London, Henleaze Old Boys beat Gremlins by seven wickets putting in their very own gold medal performance. In order to commemorate the roots of the Olympics, HOB decided to celebrate by bringing in a celebratory Greek for the game, our very own Niko Zographou. Either that or play with nine, and Niko was bullied by Ashley into playing.

Whatever the reason, he appeared to bring some luck with him, helping deliver a particularly sweet victory as HOB had narrowly lost the first game against these plucky competitors a few weeks previously. Having won the toss, Gremlins elected to bat but got off to a slow start, hindered by the parsimonious bowling of the consistent Joel Ferris Ratbrow and the excellent windmill-armed elongated one, Jo Smith. Wickets weren't falling quickly, but the scoreboard operator wasn't exactly working up a sweat either and after the first eight overs things were kept tight by the Henleaze team.

The first change of batsmen came when a foot injury forced the aptly-named Payne to hobble off retired, an injury which perhaps went some way to explain his Boycott-like scoring rate. The next two replacements didn't do much better either and both went for one, bowled by the reliable clam-man, Jon Smith who finished on tidy figures of 14-2. The run rate for Gremlins started to crank up after Niko's girlfriend's dad came on. Perhaps thinking of Niko doing things to his lovely daughter every night, he took his anger out on the ball, sending it every which way but loose, all but 10 of his unbeaten 44 coming in boundaries. Adams and Lambshead feared for the violation of their bowling figures as they came on, and with good reason as the grey-haired wonder cracked them around the ground. They responded well though, each taking a wicket with Adams taking the valuable scalp of the Gremlins number 2 batsman and Lambshead sneaking one between the batsman's pad and glove which may or may not have taken a nick. It was like waiting for Jacques Rogge's decision earlier in the day, and after a long pause, the umpire raised the dreaded finger of doom and sent the beardy batsman on the long walk back for a duck.

Ed Davies turned his arm next and his reliable line and length brought him three wickets, one an excellent caught and bowled from the batsman's powerful drive. Fine reward - although afterwards his hand resembled a giant red-raw throbbing steak. Another of Ed's wickets saw Aussie/Pom half-breed Pete Trahar take a tricky catch at fine leg and the twenty overs were up - a respectable, but not to be feared 102 for 7.

The chase started slowly but steadily with the bowlers keeping a good line and length making runs difficult to come by. Adams was caught, smashing out rightly trying to speed things up and in strode Jon Smith, the follicly challenged one who immediately began moving down the wicket. This was to be the start of a beautiful relationship between willow and leather in an unbeaten 32. Ed soon joined the action hitting a nice six and the runs started flowing. After a great knock of 37 though, he was caught and in came HOB's Long Smith who unfortunately was out for 1 after a super innings of 42 the other week. So it was to be the graceful 1920's batsmen Joel Brown, with Jon Smith who would steer HOB home in a tight finish with only two balls to spare.

Jon Smith won man of the match with excellent bowling figures of 2 for 14 from 4 overs and his 32 not out although Ed Davies might feel hard done by, his 37 with the bat and great figures of 18-3 not meriting the free pint. We knew how hard Jon had been working though - his head had gone that familiar shade of purple, shining with beads of sweat and throbbing with pulsating veins - a man-of-the-match beacon if you will. The only time you get that sort of hard work from the lobsterman is when a free pint's involved and he duly delivered. This in the context of an excellent overall team display, all the better given HOB only had ten players: an Olympian effort all-round.