Firstly, I don't want to name and shame but this report was suppose to have been written by other team member. Unfortunately we're as likely to see his match report as we are of winning a game at the moment. You know who you are Mr rat brow. Anyway, on to the report…………….

What a glorious evening for sitting outside and sipping on a glass of Pimms………or more likely a flagon of rough cider with our hoi polloi (that was originally rabble - what a great thing word synonyms is, makes you out to be all posh and sophisticated n' that). Anyway, HOB's had a prior engagement with some Fishponds Conservatives lot so boozing was out of the question until at least 8.30.

With temperatures not witnessed since a few of the Old Boys were sunning themselves in Faliraki 98, captain Smith decided that we would field first, much to the disappointment of the majority of our overweight team. With the heat as unbearable at it was the HOB bowlers were struggling to complete 4 over spells so Smith had some 'tinkering' to do. After Lambshead had sweated out half of his bodily fluids during his first 2 overs the captain brought himself off - and then went on to bowl, soon claiming the first wicket of the day when Stephens took a catch fielding at extra cover. Smith's 2nd wicket came in his next over when he cleaned bowled the other opening batsman leaving the Conservatives on just 38 for 2 at the half way stage.

The Old Boys, sensing they were on top, turned the screw a little more with Jo 'the windmill man' Smith producing his best spell of bowling this season with some ugly looking deliveries - some almost as ugly as him - that would trouble any batsman. After one bouncer and a short ball that hit the batsman under the ribs, Jo got one to pitch about a foot outside off stump that cut back in to take middle stump out of the ground. An unplayable delivery - at any standard. A wicket maiden.

Conditions were certainly helping the bowlers with an unbelievable amount of swing but this was making fielding extremely difficult with 'flapper' Fillingham in particular struggling to take the ball cleanly from behind the stumps. Extras would go on to be Fishpond's top scorer.

Adams was the next HOB bowler to get some success, completely demolishing their middle order and was close to claiming a hattrick, the final ball of his 2nd over narrowly missing the outside edge of the bat. Fillingham would have probably dropped it anyway. Barrett got in on the action late on and took his first Old Boys wicket after the ball was hooked high in the air to Ashford at square leg. The batsman was already walking after taking one look at those shovel-like hands, Meredith wasn't going to drop that. With a little sting in the Fishpond's tail they finished on 106 for 7 from 19 overs, yes 19 overs, they somehow managed to miss the fact the there was one over left to bowl. Look, I know they're from Fishponds but you would have thought that they could count to 20. Obviously not. HOB weren't complaining though.

Needing 107 to win at just over 5 runs an over, the new opening partnership of EC Davies and captain JS Smith got HOB's off to a flyer - 68 before the first wicket fell, Smith for 38 in the 13th over. Brown was in and out before you could say golden duck and suddenly we had the 2 'Boycotts' at the crease. It was a good job that the Old Boys had a few runs on the scoreboard.

After a few low scoring overs and with cries of 'run 'em up' from the pavilion Davies finally lost his patience, skying one to point with 30 to his name. With the score on 95 and with 2 overs left the hard work had surely been done, a run a ball was all that was required.

However, this is HOB's you're talking about and we like to make things difficult for ourselves. SJ Smith was caught behind for 6 and then a comical run out saw Stephens walking back to the pavilion for only 2.

In came Ashford needing 9 from the last 2 balls, unfortunately they were both dot balls and the Old Boys lost again, this time by 8 runs.

Jo Smith bowled well with figures of 1 for 9 from 3 overs, as did Adams with 3 for 12 from 3. Davies once again hit a decent total opening the batting but our captain, the original Fatty Arbuckle collected the man of the match pint for his knock of 38 and 2 more wickets to his name. Just a shame he didn't go on to make his half-century.

There's always next week…………………..